Cariweb

Time: 1:39pm
Location: At my desk
Status: Sad

Dear Diary:

How could someone be so evil?

How could they willingly kill something so precious and small?

It's senseless.

I hate reading the news. It's full of such depressing stuff! But now I've read that story I can't stay away from looking for updates.

I hope that man in NJ gets what he deserves. I hope he really didn't throw the baby off the bridge.

And if he did, I hope he gets the fatally beaten in jail.

The poor poor angel.

Time: 8:53am
Location: In bed
Status: Watching a midget sleep

Dear Diary:

If you live your life scared of your own shadow, then how do you expect to get anywhere?

I'm always hearing older people say "dont do this", "dont do that", "be careful", "dont risk it", etc.

But if you don't try something how are you going to know whether it will work or not? And unless you try it how do you know whether its what you really want or not?

I don't want to be scared of making choices. I don't want to doubt everything I do because someone else would never consider doing it out of fear of losing stability.

I'm not talking about being reckless or endangering someone elses well being.. I'm talking about for instance changing careers, going back to school, moving out of town for a job.  Stuff like that.

And I dont think it's because some people dont like changes. I think it's more that they prefer to take the safe road never deviating to see what else is out there out of fear of losing what they have. 

I don't want to be that way.

But I know as time goes by, and the older I get, and the more I'm responsible for, I will be more likely to make the safe secure choices :(

Time: 2:18pm
Location: Boss' Office
Status: Tired

Dear Diary:

Why do people love seeing over people miserable? And when they see you're happy and doing well they turn nasty and resentful?

I can't stand people. I enjoyed my Christmas holidays but discovered that one or two of the people in my life are just ... "haters"...

I know times are tough for all and its wrong to gloat but God forbid if you tell the truth when they ask you how you're doing and what you got for Christmas.. 

I mean really!

When I lost my job and had no money to pay my rent 8 bloody years ago - where were you f******? When I asked you to help me, did you? No, If I remember correctly you didnt care.

And how about the time you gave your pothead man your half of our rent money. Remember that?!? I sure do.

So why you coming to me now?  Why should I feel bad now because my life is going smooth and I'm finally at a point where I don't have to worry about anything? Why should you even cross my thoughts?

When I was single and alone did I spend the holidays bitching and complaining? No.

Did I try and make everyone feel bad that I didnt have an other half? No.
And when you were hugging up against your other half did you care how I felt? Did it bother you that I was alone?

NO.

So now you're in the same bloody predicament I was in for years, you expect me to feel sorry for you and not tell you what my hubby bought me EVEN THOUGH  YOU F***ing ASKED, do i need to feel bad?

Don't friking ask if you don't want to know!!!

Yeah, my life is great. And I thank God every day for it. I love my family and I finally have the little midget I always wanted in my life!

Now if you weren't such a money-hungry-slutty-w**** maybe your husband wouldnt have left you and you wouldn't have spent Christmas alone.

Imma go back to singing my songs.. Now stop stalking me, piss off and stop ruining my holidays!

"Tiiiss the seassson to be jollllyyyy..."

Time: 4:51pm
Location: In my boss' office
Status:  Missing her peanut

Dear Diary:

Oh fat girl ... please keep your nasty bodily functions to yourself.

Must you pee all over the seat?

Can't you lock that bathroom stall when you use it?

Was that burp necessarily?

And what the f*** is that smell!

Ever heard about personal hygiene?

Why don't you bloody wash your hands?

Being obese is not a reason to be nasty!

Stop picking your goddam wedgie out! 

That tight ass top thats too short for your rolls is not attractive, neither is it sexy so please stop wearing it to work!

Bloody hell woman. I barely have time to eat these days and lunch is about the only meal I can eat without interference from my Peanut (and mainly because I'm at work when I eat it).. so please stop making me gag as I will throw up one day and I will make sure to aim my projectile vomit in your direction.

** SCREAMING **

So my dear people, after a hiatus of Lord knows how long, I've decided to return like the prodigal son. I would be lying if I said I missed Cariweb, but I have to confess that I was a bit concerned one day when I decided to check out this good old bacchanal site, only to be told the address couldn't be found.
The new look isn't too bad. I see alot of new members as well. What happened to the old heads though? I hope they didn't die off (not that I would miss them, just considering funeral costs in a recession). Maybe someone should fill me in. I must say that the newer members seem to be taking more of an intellectual slant than most of the older farts who used to "contribute" to the forums. That is a breath of fresh air, and can only augur well for Cariweb, since the quality of materials posted in the forums would be bettered.
In conclusion...who the hell am I kiddin'? There is no conclusion. By the way, I'm guessing that whoever reads this knows who is writing it.

Time: 1:10pm
Location: In my office
Status: Annoyed at being fooled!

Dear Diary:

So I didn't go Black Friday shopping and patiently waited for the Cyber Monday sales...

And I sat there last night for a good 2 hours shopping online! Got a couple of good deals.. then I came across JC Penny and got all excited! I started adding more and more to my card because the promo said 40% off, free shipping etc etc... I even added things I were unsure about but figured I could give away as a gift...

But God was watching out for me! Oh yes he was..

As I entered in my MC information I received an Internal error notification

I tried again and again for a half hour before Peanut demanded my attention and I abandoned my shopping cart.

I was pissed at Penny's and their bloody site...

Till I came into work today and decided to pop into JC Penny only to find that everything I wanted to buy yesterday was still on sale for the same prices in store!

Well if I had known that I wouldnt have wasted hours online!

I also just took a look online at a Samsung t.v. I wanted to buy but didn't only to find it's still at the same price as it's Black Friday sale price too!

:o

So this January 1st. will mark a year since my uncle passed away. He was struck crossing the street by a young girl and her idiot drunk boyfriend. I am really having a hard time with the upcoming holidays because I feel like I do not want to celebrate or be around people, but my family and my in-laws don't understand this. I really would like to have private time this holidays but everyone is so hyped up about presents and get-togethers that its making me even more miserable because if I don't attend, people will talk. My uncle was like my parent. He raised me and I loved him more than either of my parents. I came from a broken home and did not have much of a relationship with my mom, which I didn't fret about because I had my uncle. I really feel these days that I am lonely family wise, because I do not have much family that I know of or live near to such as cousins,aunts , uncles etc. My uncle was my only real family, and I had been looking forward to spending alot of time with him this year, even was going to ask him to live with me because he had Diabetes and I did not like him living on his own.  We talked everyday and he never forgot to tell me he loved me, and never forgot to call me no matter how busy or sick he was. I really miss and appreciate the things he did for me growing up now more than ever since he is gone. I find myself randomly crying when I see things that remind me of him. It hurts ALOT losing him because he was my only true family. My other family I don't really care to spend time with them because my uncle did not care for them either and thought everyone was pretentous and snobby. Sometimes I am jealous of my husbands family because he has soooo much members in his family and they are so close knit and love eachother. I hate sometimes being around them because they are not MY family, you know? I mean I don't know them that well, and I don't connect with anyone on the same level. I feel so miserable. How do I cure this feeling? I cannot help sometimes but to be bitter , and I feel so bad when my in-laws try to be nice and I am so snappy and mean. How does one let  go?

Time: 1:42pm
Location: Manhattan
Status: Eating Dove Milk Chocolate and listening to hold music

Dear Diary:

Oh tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the USA...and this is the time we are suppose to sit back and take a look at our lives and give thanks for all we have.

And even though some people appear to have all they want in the world, they are still not happy with what they have in front of them.

Open your eyes! See what you do have rather than what you don't!

Take a look at your family at home, waiting for you. Your mum slaving over the stove to cook you some dhal pourie and duck curry when you come home from work. Your siblings, your aunts, your uncles, your cousins.. be thankful that they are alive, breathing, healthy and again,  ALIVE.

I miss my grandparents. It's the second holiday without them but instead of being miserable and down, we're making sure to enjoy each other and keep granma and grandpa's memory alive! Eat, eat, eat is what grannie would tell us... and that's what we'll do!

So, I would like to take this opportunity to give thanks for the parents I have - even if they are insane, to my siblings, my nephews, my niece, my aunts, cousins, their kids, everyone!

Thank you for my hubby and his irritating habits - without them he'd bore me and I'd have to throw darts at him for excitement. And thank you for my little monster who woke me up this morning with a smirk and a poopie diaper... Peanut - you are the bestest thing in my life and without you me and your dad wouldn't be complete.

That's all for now...

Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble, Gobble...

Gonna go finish eating my chocolate bar :D

Time: 12:50pm
Location: At my desk
Status: Missing my peanut

Dear Diary:

Tis the holiday season again and I'm feeling that panic over what to buy everyone this bloody christmas!

It's getting more and more difficult every year!

I just took a stroll through JC Penny and I see I'm not the only one thinking about christmas shopping from now and looking just as confused. I happened to meet a nice older lady suffering from the same dilemma!

What to do!

My nephew and niece down in that over hot state are 11 and 12 and after buying them nearly everything for birthdays and christmas' in the past I'm having a hard time figuring what to get them this year!

Then there is mummy dearest... what the hell will she want? Fuzzy slippers is all she'll get if I can't think of something.

And the hubby? WHAT DO I GET HIM! SHITE! He buys what he wants when he wants it so there is never anything left for me to get him.

Thank god my in-laws  are strict hindus and don't celebrate christmas in anyway... otherwise I would have to add them to the list.

Matter of fact, the only two that are easy to buy for are my peanut and my sister's baby in London - they will be less than 5 months old each and they don't know any better! so clothes and toys it is!

Suggestions would be great... what are you all buying your folks?

Life is like a garden planted both with thorns and flowers,watered by our tears and fed by sunshine of laughter !!